What I know, what I wish I knew

I'm not even going to hide the fact that my toilet is dirty. That's how we roll in my house. My Smalls was "going" and I gave him privacy only to hear, "Mommmmmyyyyyy, my boooook is in the toy-yet!!!" That's life!

I’m not even going to hide the fact that my toilet is dirty. That’s how we roll in my house. My Smalls was “going” and I gave him privacy only to hear, “Mommmmmyyyyyy, my boooook is in the toy-yet!!!” That’s life. Life is messy!

Y’all, I am a hot mess. Literally. I am hot all the time (if you know me in ‘real life’, you know) and I am literal mess. I’ve either got someone’s food smeared on me or someone’s pee saturating my clothes. Like everyday. And I re-wear clothes. Like all week long. The same clothes. It’s gross. I’m gross. And when I go to bed at night, I haven’t always had a #Mommywin day. Some days are really hard. Most days, actually. But I learn from them. Mostly.

I’ve learned a LOT in my almost four and a half years of being a Mommy. Probably more in that time than all the rest of my life put together. And I’m still learning. I don’t think one stops learning.

I’ve learned that not every day is perfect. That I’m not perfect. And my kids aren’t either. Although fearfully and wonderfully made, they are professional mistake makers. That’s what they do. They will learn. And continue to mess up. Just like me. I, too, am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am messing up daily.

And that’s okay. I’m learning that it’s okay to mess up. Kids, in general, are incredibly forgiving. When I have a bad day, we start over in the morning. While that is hard when you are still wounded by things they say and do, it is a blessing when you’ve had a crummy day as a parent. Something we should remember and practice, ourselves. Likewise, God’s mercies are new each morning. Remember, He made us out of dust. He wants to love and protect what He’s carefully made. He, too, lets us start new.

“Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” – Lamentations 3:23

I’ve learned the value of fellow Mommy friends. During my first year as a parent, I was pretty isolated. I didn’t know many other Moms nor did I venture out much. Target was my outing of choice (still is HA!). When my Bigs was almost one, I joined a kids’ gym, and met my first group of Mom friends. It changed my whole life. It took me out of my comfort zone. I finally had people that understood my daily struggle! Then I joined a Mom group in my church and my friend groups, faith, and fellowship grew even more. I am constantly meeting new friends through both of these groups and am so blessed by each Mom that I meet. Each one has something new to teach me. And I am hungry to learn. To soak up those bits of knowledge that have been imparted to me.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

I’ve learned that it’s okay to let your child fail sometimes. It’s so hard, as a parent, to sit back and watch your child hurt. And it’s equally hard, as an extremely Type A personality, to watch my child do something “wrong”. I’m learning that it might only be “wrong” to me. My boys have taught me (without trying) that there are more solutions and different ways of looking at things.

“Train child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

I’ve learned the value of community. Accepting the help or advice from my fellow parents has been such a valuable lesson for me. Surrounding my children with strong and faithful families has not only strengthened my own faith, but my children’s (without them knowing).

“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” – 1 John 4:11

“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” – Psalm 133:1

I am learning patience. Apparently, I was not born with it and didn’t develop it very well, despite thinking that I wasn’t THAT much of an impatient person, prior to having children. It’s a struggle, y’all. Oh, the struggle!

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:12

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9

I am learning to let go. There are so many things that I could hold on to, that just don’t need be be held on to. And to let go of the control I keep trying to have over all the details of my life. My God is huge, my God is awesome, and my God is in control.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11

As always, I am a HUGE work in progress. Every day, in some way, I’m learning something new, about myself, about Motherhood, and I’m asking forgiveness for my mess-ups, which are frequent. I am not perfect, nor do I want to be. I just want to be the Mom God made me to be.

Many blessings,

Kristin

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